Ways To Maintain Sanity...
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks and once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions - switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write: For Marijuana.
- Finish all your sentences with, "in accordance with the prophecy"
- Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
- Order a "diet water" whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Specify that your drive-through order is to go.
- Sing along at the opera.
- Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
- When the money comes out the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives! They're loose!"
- Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
- And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity send this list to someone and make them smile it's called ...THERAPY!